I wanna be a princess!

I see business ownership as very similar to being a princess. Try to stick with me here, folks.

Just like any other little girl, I thought I wanted to be royalty. They can dress up and play all day, they have everything and everybody at their disposal, and when a princess speaks, everybody listens.

I got the unexpected chance to be a princess when I visited my Nonna in Sicily for a summer. My family all lives in Collesano, a small mountain town where everyone is either related or, well, related. I was 25 and had been living on my own for a few years. I was accustomed to coming and going as I pleased.

When I arrived, I was in for a rude awakening. The social customs in mountain town Sicily differed greatly from 1990’s America. I was not allowed to be seen in public without a chaperone. If I wanted to leave the house, I had to lock down a cousin to make sure I was well-accompanied. There were many times when nobody was available to babysit me and I had to look out from my balcony (really, they all have balconies) wistful of the freedom enjoyed by everyone around me.

When I finally got to leave the house, it was well known who I was. Since I was a Manganello, I was considered to be a part of the family. However, I was still L’Americana. Everywhere I walked in town, kids would cat-call me and the widows in their vestibules stared me down, ready and armed with the evil eye if I made a wrong move. I was the first generation of Americanized Collesano, so I had to represent my family with honor and grace. No exceptions.

The up-sides were equally memorable. I was approached by many family members and friends, who told me stories of the town and of my dad, who had recently passed away. I was able to fill in some lineage blanks and the time I was able to spend with my grandmother, learning from her and getting to know her as an adult, is an experience I will cherish for the rest of my life.

Here is where I tie it all back together. Owning a business is something people dream about. The notion is that you enjoy complete freedom and do whatever you want. Money is always plentiful and you don’t have to answer to anyone.

The real picture of small business ownership is not as fanciful. We are less free than you think. Our businesses are like our children. We do not have the luxury of leaving our job—it follows us wherever we go. Our minds are always preoccupied with the weight of ownership and may not pass the buck of responsibility to anyone else. It begins and ends with us. Like I’ve said before, we don’t take vacations and, financially, we always seem to be skirting disaster.

So the next time you think wistfully of the fanciful life of the small business owner, please know that for all of the “freedom and glory” we get to experience, there is an equal amount of weight and responsibility attached. It is usually worth it and I am thankful every day, but I sometimes fantasize of the comfortably secure life which I do not get to experience.